


Blackest Before Dawn

by ennaxor



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:31:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ennaxor/pseuds/ennaxor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Really, of everyone on the team, Cho was probably the best agent for Vega to have been with. But it doesn't stop Wylie from feeling like he should have been able to do more. To do something." Wylie deals with the aftermath of Vega's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackest Before Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> It's still my headcanon that Vega is alive, so just imagine this taking place before Nicole's "If I Can Leave Off Burying The White" (which, if you're a Wega fan and not reading that, you should be). I might add a second chapter to this, exploring the last two episodes, but this is what I initially set out to cover, so I'm marking it as complete.

Objectively, Wylie knows that there's probably nothing he could have done had he been there. He likely would have panicked, given how little field experience he has. He might have made things worse.

(It's hard to remind himself that it _could_ have been worse, as impossible as that thought seems most of the time. Vega wasn't the only one who'd been in danger.)

Really, of everyone on the team, Cho was probably the best agent for Vega to have been with.

But it doesn't stop Wylie from feeling like he should have been able to do more. To do _something_.

Something more than sit numbly at his desk while he watched the others rush to the hospital. More than wait by the phone and pray it would bring good news the next time it rang. More than wait at the office while the rest of the team went after the men who killed Michelle.

He's never felt so useless.

...

...

...

"Agent Wylie?"

Wylie looks up from his computer, where he'd been doing… something… _what was I working on?_ … to see Detective Portis standing by his desk.

"I understand that you spoke with Agent Vega this morning?" the detective asks.

Wylie nods.

"Do you mind telling me what you spoke about?"

Wylie looks down and takes a deep breath. Was it really just that morning, that he was talking to Vega? His throat is tight when he answers.

"We - I was telling her about this League of Legends tournament my friend is hosting this weekend, in Houston." It seems silly now, how nervous he'd been about asking her. "We made plans to go together. Then we talked to Cho about the case - figured out how to use Fletcher's phone to track him. Vega left with Cho, and I -" he stops to clear his throat. "I sent her the list of locations for them to check out."

"And nothing seemed… different about her when you saw her?"

Wylie thinks of her small smile when she agreed to dinner, how it grew when he asked for confirmation.

_Sure. Let's do it._

He shakes his head no.

Portis thanks him for his time and offers his condolences once again. Wylie turns to stare blankly again at his computer screen when he senses someone else standing beside him.

"Don't blame yourself."

Wylie looks up at Cho in confusion.

"What?"

"The locations you tracked down, that you sent us. You were doing your job. Just like Vega was doing hers."

Wylie nods. He knows this, but at the same time the reassurance helps the knot in his stomach to loosen, just slightly. He wonders if he should say something similar to Cho, but before he can find the words the older agent has already walked away.

...

...

...

He doesn't realize he'd formed a habit of looking for her each time he steps into the bullpen until she's no longer there to be found.

The first day after, when he's in the elevator and the doors open, his eyes are drawn automatically to her desk. And even though he'd _known_ she wouldn't be there, had been preparing himself for it, he has to stop himself from looking around to see where else she might be.

Later that morning he glances inside the break room when he passes it on the way to speak with Abbott, and it's not until he's back at his desk that he realizes he'd been hoping to find Vega inside.

He hopes, at least, that sitting with his back to her desk will help make things easier. If he doesn't have to constantly look at her empty desk, maybe it won't hurt as much.

He should have known that nothing could make this easier.

Twice, that first day, he finds himself spinning in his chair, a quip for her on the tip of his tongue, before he sees the cleared desk and _remembers_ and the pain of it all hits fresh in the gut.

...

...

...

Wylie made it a weekly habit after graduating from Quantico to stop by the range for some target practice. His firearms scores at the Academy hadn't been especially high, but he _had_ passed, and he knew how important it was not to let them slide - even if his current assignment had him more often than not behind a desk.

He and Vega had been planning on going to the firing range together soon for a little friendly competition ("-and no cheating this time!" "Hey, Vega, if you can't take the heat…"), and he tries not to think about how different this visit could have been when he walks in alone.

Operating on auto-pilot, Wylie loads his gun and sends the target down the range. He doesn't realize his hands are shaking until he holds the pistol out in front of him, and when he pulls the trigger the round doesn't even hit the paper target.

Wylie hasn't missed that badly since his first firearms training session.

He tries to slow his breathing, to calm himself down, but if anything his heart starts racing faster, and he can feel tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. The target becomes a blur, until instead of the blank silhouette he's picturing Sellers in its place, and he quickly fires off three shots before setting the gun down in front of him. He takes off the protective goggles and presses the palms of his hands against his eyes, angry at himself for crying.

A strangled sob escapes his throat before he can stop it, and he's thankful for the loud cover of those shooting around him. He runs through coding in his head in an attempt to distract himself, and when he finally calms down and lowers his hands, he sees his target is still unmarked.

He knows there's nothing he can do for Vega now, and knows that running through the _what-ifs_ is a dangerous path he doesn't want to spiral down. But he can still work to protect himself, his teammates, to be better prepared in the future to prevent something like this from happening again.

Wylie takes one more deep breath before picking up the handgun and taking aim once more. This time his hands don't shake as he fires.


End file.
